About a year or so ago, I befriended a woman from China in her late thirties. She has a daughter who is 16 this year and they are here for her daughter’s education. WFC was someone who gave 101% to her job, a good listener and friend and offers fantastic advice. She was one of the few people whom I had really confided in, and we became very good friends.
A few months ago, she got into trouble with the law as she was caught working with an expired work permit. She had to be repatriated back to China but her daughter could continue studying in Singapore. She left her daughter with the church pastor, and some rich tai-tais pooled together a sum of money as living expenses for her daughter for half a year.
Before she left, she told me that she was worried about money, as she could not make enough money for her daughter working in China, taking into consideration that the exchange rate was 5 to 1. I told her that if things got bad, I would chip in and help with the daughter’s living expenses and school fees. Before she left, I passed her a sum of money to tide her over till she could find a job in China.
Fast-forward to 2 months later, the pastor and me kept in contact and she had lots to complain about WFC’s daughter. First of all WFC’s daughter wanted an Ipod. Next were the atrocious handphone bills of $150 a month. And this was the girl who was living off other people’s charity. On top of that, she made the pastor’s house a mess and did not care for her studies. When the pastor spoke to WFC that her daughter was spending money too recklessly and their existing funds would not last long, WFC asked her to ‘ask pasta for money’.
WFC also smsed me saying that she had something to beg me. I called her back and she told me to buy her a nokia 3230 hand phone and send it to china to her. She told me her daughter was busy studying and she did not want to trouble her daughter. Later did I find out through the pastor that the daughter was going back to China for a holiday very soon, and she wanted a new hand phone, which is probably why her mum asked me to buy a hand phone so that she could give to her daughter.
When I knew that, I was really angry and upset. I wanted to be a friend in need, but I am so offended that she would even think of asking me to pay for her daughter’s indulgences, let alone do it. And she resorted to sneak, by telling me that she needed it herself, because she knew that if I knew that it was for her daughter, I would never had consented. In fact, I am so disappointed with her behavior that I am seriously considering cutting off all ties with her. Because I really hate people who try to get the best of me just because I am gullible and naive. And I had always thought we were good enough friends to be open with one other.
It made me remember an incident long time ago when I was just 14. I had loaned a classmate some money and months passed but she never mentioned it or paid me back. I thought she had forgotten about it, so I didn’t ask for it. Until one day- she asked me for a loan again, and I said no. Then she told me this, ‘ Pasta, lend me la. Lend me and I promise to pay you back tomorrow together with what I owed you the last time.’
I was like, ‘ Bitch! U mean u remembered all this time and was just pretending you forgot!?’
Maybe there is really no one left to trust. :( I wonder who is sillier, a friend whos being conned of a handphone, or a mum whos so enslaved and besotted with her daughter that she would resort to anything to satisfy her daughter's whims and fancies. Children can twist their parents around their little fingers because our parents love us, but it is our love and piety that stops us from manipulating our parents to get what we want. I feel sad for her that her daughter is simply sucking her dry, and also sad for her that she is unable to take her daughter in hand. I actually told my theory to my boss and he thinks that actually parents know what we are up to, just that they choose to trust us and have faith in us. hmmm. whatever.
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4 comments:
Interesting post! I observe some of these traits in my relatives in the way they handle their children's indulgences with their INdisposable income.
For your case, I'm not sure if the mother is as helpless as she makes it out to be. After all, the apple does not fall far from the tree. However, I do see parents nowadays as being more "subserviant" to their kids, so that, while they themselves can't keep up with the Joneses, at least their kids can, because life is more competitive, where your social status is measured not by intellect or upbringing, but by the label on your shirt, the megapixels of your handphone and even the size of your mp3 player. As for your friend WFC? Her ultimate label is her daughter - if my daughter is happy and accepted, then I must be a good mother.
Just my 2 cents :)
exactly!
Because WFC is sort of divorced from her husband, she always feels like she owes her daughter something and is always trying to indulge her. But that is just making the daughter into a spoilt, disagreeable and altogether a most tiresome person to be around. Its tragic how excessive obsessive love is actually exactly what her daughter dont need. And I had afew arguments with her about her daughter but she ended up getting angry with me, so I stopped.
And I did indeed feel that she is not quite as helpless as she seems, which makes me all the more feel like I am getting ripped off. :(
i would slap dat bitch of a daughter of hers awake if i am you! 16 yrs old is big enuff, can think for herself oledi.
But I guess at 16, she's succumbed to peer pressure in school. Moreover, Singapore. Why cant she be schooling in China?
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